cleaning out my closet

It’s Hump Day, Moms!!
 
Spring is near, Moms. As we near the end of the winter season, I’ve begun to clean and organize my closet in preparation for the upcoming spring season. As I was swapping out boots for sandals, I found myself wondering if I was moving prematurely in doing so. Let’s be honest, here in Memphis, we frequently experience all four seasons in one day. If the winter weather isn’t quite over, am doing myself a disservice by getting rid of what I may still need despite the seasons changing? Am I doing the same in my personal life and possibly causing more harm than good?
As moms, we all know the importance of cleaning and organizing. My son’s playroom has 1,000 toys strewn across the floor at any given time, so cleaning up is routine in our home. However, there’s something about having to reorganize an entire closet and wardrobe that doesn’t sit well with me. Having to decide what to keep and what to get rid of is a difficult decision for me. Those boots I haven’t worn in years seem to stare me down as I throw them in a bag to be given away. That faux fur jacket I never wear starts to look like an expensive mink coat that I should keep just in case. Honestly, I don't know what my “just in case” is, but it seems as if these irrelevant things have a stronghold on me.
However, I won't act like this doesn’t also apply to more than just material items. I often find myself struggling to get rid of people and things that I know bring nothing of value to my life. Why can't I part with things that look nice but serve no purpose in my life? That's the exact question I found myself asking God in prayer. I needed answers because it wasn’t adding up. The elders say that when we pray, we should look and listen for the answers we need. So, as I prayed and sought God, I began to wait for God’s response. What I got was more than I expected. It was as though a lightbulb went off and I realized that once again the answers were already in my heart. Remember, God always internally equips us with what we need to navigate this thing called life. What I found was that I’d been allowing fear to control me. The fear of the unknown, the fear of rejection, and most importantly, the fear of trusting my own decisions. How am I a mother raising a child, yet I doubt myself?
At any rate, I know I’m not alone in this self-sabotaging behavior. How often do we know deep within that a job no longer serves us, but we stay because we’re scared to trust God’s plan? What about staying in a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, because we don’t believe we deserve better?  It’s funny how God will use an everyday situation, such as spring cleaning, to open our eyes to the raw reality that we’ve been emotionally hoarding. Just like the material things we refuse to part ways with, holding on to things that don’t serve us clutters our spiritual closets. What a revelation! Moving forward, I vow to begin my spiritual cleaning and start by removing anything or anyone that doesn’t serve me or my child. Will you join me, sister?

 -Written by Ashley Williams